Monday, September 20, 2010

vacation post #6: a whole lotta tending bar.

wow, that wedding really threw everything off. it stopped work on everything, and left us all in the lurch! i bet you've been pulling your hair out wondering how our vacation ended! well, have no fear- i was going to abandon the last two posts and move on, but when i looked them over i saw some pretty cute pics and decided that, late as they are, i still wanted you guys to see them. so in 'moving-right-along' fashion, we're going to finish up the vacation today with two posts, and get back to the random, whenever-i-have-time posting schedule you all know and love! just keep in mind that chronologically these are pre-wedding, especially important for this post.

bebe's working her way through college the way many young women do these days. and while she does prefer to spend much of her time nude, it's not stripping:

"got all my supplies."

"how 'bout that- these cups are actually clean."

hey beebs, are you open for business? i think uncle ben could use a little something.

"what can i get ya' uncle ben?"

i think he needs a little liquid courage- he's getting married pretty soon.

"married, huh?"

"not much we can do for that."


"i'm gonna' try my hardest to whip something up for you. how do you feel about dog hair as a garnish?"

"oh, there's some bird poop here too. great! and while it's creamy yet crunchy, and rich in poop, it won't help you with that wedding issue. you may have to get out of it the old fashioned way and make a run for it."

bebe! he's getting married to aunt marge! they're in love!

"love, you say?"

"this is going to be harder than i thought."

"i mean, rabies we can cure. but love?"

"y'know, uncle ben, sometimes when i don't feel good and i think i'm sick, it actually turns out to be gas."

"do you have gas?"

you may have misunderstood. they're not trying to get out of getting married. they're excited to do it!

"chaining yourself to one person, till DEATH DO YOU PART, all that sickness and health stuff... yeah, i must have misunderstood."

"i may be only two, but that also means i wasn't born yesterday. it was a lot of yesterdays ago, in fact. but suit yourself. it's your funeral. um, i mean, wedding."

beebs, why are you so against aunt marge and uncle ben getting married?

"well, it's not so much the wedding i'm against... it's just..."

what is it? is it all the unfamiliar people that will be here? you're pretty social once you get warmed up. aunt marge and uncle ben getting married is going to be great! we all love uncle ben already, and this will just be making him an official part of our family! what's not to be excited about?

"see, you say that, but this is how it all starts."

what starts?

"oh, c'mon! like you don't know..."

i'm kind of lost.

"it's the kids. next thing you know they'll be having kids. sure, i'll always be the first grandchild, but soon i won't be the only one! not if these rotten meddlers have their way!"

um, have you forgotten about little baby? regardless of when aunt marge and uncle ben decide to have kids, you're going to be a big sister AND one of two grandkids. really soon. but there's nothing to be afraid of!

let's take a look at this dangling pig farm you call a foot, right here. you're the first pig, so you'll always be the big one at the start! but you can't have a functional foot with only the big toe! you need your brothers and sisters and cousins, all the rest of your family, if you're ever going to get anywhere.

"i guess."

"i'm still not crazy about the idea. i like being the only one!"

well, you do for now. but when you get a little bit older, you're going to want some younger family members to boss around and make fun of! trust me.

"i hear what you're saying. but i'm still not convinced. this is going to take some time to get used to."

we'll give you until december.

after she recovered from her 'center of the universe' depressive state, bebe and uncle ben found something in the water. they took it out and put it on the grass, where it would be safe from the pool chemicals:


and then right on schedule, epic sunset:


at some point in the early evening, mommy thought it would be okay to let bebe sticker herself. under normal circumstances, this would not have been a big deal:

"i got a bad feeling about this."
yes, yes you do.

for instance, see the way the sticker is really clinging to that little bit of tender pink skin right there?

long into the night, bebe's howls of pain could be heard in the hills and beyond. she stood still in her room while we tore them from her skin and the tears just rolled down her cheeks. it was the most terrible thing ever. they were all over her body, on her face... not even the tears would loosen their grip. sorry, beebs. next time we'll just give you some scissors to run with.

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