Monday, March 12, 2012


last sunday, me and teek, and our friends (and brothers) JT and Savi, all went to the celtics/knicks game. both teams were having up and down seasons, but they always battle each other so we knew we'd probably get a good game out of it. what we got was an instant classic, with a celtic win in OT. as a x-mas present from teek, we had seats on the floor at the end of the c's bench, right by the entrance to the locker room- the perfect place to watch rondo's triple-double and pierce's late game, clutch knick-killing!

for anyone who knows anything about cameras, i shot these in RAW format on my canon G-9 point-and-shoot. there are some good ones, but a frustrating thing about the point-and-shoot cameras is that in low light environments (like a sporting arena) they often have a hard time focusing on what you want them to focus on, when they're in focus at all in the first place. for instance, you have it set to focus in the middle of the frame, oh, and hey, there's KG going through his warm-ups! you point the camera at him, he's in the middle, and BAM! everyone behind him on the opposite side of the arena is in crystal clear focus while he is a blurry mess. dayum. also, this camera sucks on most things that are moving even in bright light, so anytime i caught someone taking a breath, or blinking their eyes, yup,blur. jeremy lin was particularly adept at dodging my focus. dude is like a focus vampire. or, you know, that thing about vampires not having a reflection. that's what he was to my focus. 

for the record, i might be tempted to refer to jeremy as a ninja (or if i were particularly savvy, at least refer to him as a 'court assassin') the way he evaded my focus and kept his face a total secret from my camera, but also for the record, he's not japanese, but ninja are. yes, that's the plural form of ninja. ninja. you don't get jumped by a bunch of ninjas, you get jumped by a bunch of ninja. ALSO. dudes, for the millionth time, ninja's are not cool. bro. i originally had an exclamation point in there, but i took it out because when i proof-read this it sounded like i was pleading with you or something. i was not. am not. whatever. in a historical time wherein honor was sought above all else, ninja were like little stabby cockroaches that snuck around cutting people from behind because they were good at being quiet but sucked at actual combat. TRUE STORY. they were like the darth vaders of feudel japan, all on the dark side. wait, DV is pretty cool (just ask bebe), soooooo. well, if ninja had carried red swords (even if it was just red paint or something) i might go back and take some of that stuff out, but for the most part, ninja are not to be emulated. they were RATS. PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE NINJA. 

anyway. while a lot of these are not ones i'd normally post, i cleaned them up as best i could and figured i'd throw them up here anyway. it's great being so close to the action, and i wanted to share that perspective. albeit a mostly blurry one. enjoy...

back into Beantown!

 idiot-vision. i'll never understand why people get so excited at seeing their faces up on the jumbotron or whatever it's called. it's not like they're on actual television. for most of the game. ahem.

getting ready for the teams to come out-


 p-dubs! steimer! KD!

after they all ran out, we huddled up to compare blurs:

 the brothers Tuber.

 to get a sense of the scale of these guys, if you look at that dude back there holding the ball- that's your average 5-9" to 5"11 guy. yeah, KG is literally two feet taller than that dude. seeing them up close in person is one thing. the next is seeing them up close and next to "regular" people. ballers are freaks.

have you heard we have some banners? just a few, really.

though they do go all the way across the ceiling in two rows and it takes a jumbotron thing or whatever to totally block them out. 

 my main man on the mic, mike gorman. this was a national game so he and tommy were doing pre and post, but for the game they sat behind us in the press stand.

 he looks better in profile.

 i see london, i see france, i see patrick chung's underpants!

i've always liked baron davis' game. he's best friends with paul pierce and together the two of them run Magic Johnson's charity events on the west coast in the off-season. baron usually has a little more time for that than p-dubs since his season traditionally ends about eight weeks sooner. it would make me happy to see him get a ring, but time is winding down for him and he's got a ton of injuries over his career. it's not looking good for baron. rad first name though.

 that man in focus is Carlton. he's in focus because it's his job to be a human statue while the game is going on. good for him. he must hate basketball or something.

 rondo heads to the bench

 while doc coaches and this guy on the left returns with some nachos.

My Man Carlton, HOLDING IT DOWN.

 people on the left

 ...people on the right.

 HOF'er Tommy Heinsohn.

 "yo, what?!? they could see my underpants?!?"

a long time ago, i might have referred to jeremy lin as jeremy linja. ignorant.

 that dude is jeff green. he had corrective heart surgery and we had to void the contract we gave him. it was nice to see him healthy, as i told him directly, on one of many times he walked past my seat. 

 what you got goin' on there, tyson? i will NOT pull your finger.

 see what i mean? it's like he knows the art of invisibility. to go with his kung-fu. ignorant. dude went to harvard. dude doesn't know no invisible kung-fu. ignorant.

"alright now, we're going to come out here in the fourth, make them pay for that taunting technical foul they got, and tie the game to go to overtime. paul, i've drawn up this play well in advance of how you'll drill a dagger with about four seconds left to do it. not three, not five. just go stand where this little "x" is and we'll get you the ball. wait to shoot it over carmelo if you can, i hate that guy. now i know rondo looked a little flat at times, but that was because we had to take out his spine during warm-ups and have some work done on it. guy's been playing without vertebrae for three periods. but don't worry- we just put it back in between periods and he should be good to end the game with a monster triple double. suck it lebron on three- one, two, three- SUCK IT LEBRON! alright now, let's stick to the plan and get it done!"

new spine = monster triple-double. let's see how it looks-

 "heard about my new spine? monster triple double."

 lookin' good!

 lookin' bad!

 i try to get at least one shot of the dancers for my little sister, who likes calling them all kinds of nasty names. say what you want about them, but these ladies are old, they work hard, and they get paid next to nothing. they're only doing it because they didn't make it through dance school or whatever. wait, somewhere in there was a compliment. i think? they work hard. that's the one.

 "so doc, what's your plan?"
"gonna' tie it for overtime, rondo monster triple-double, toy with 'em for a couple minutes, then pass go, collect two-hundred dollars, sink his battleship, connect four, sorry, win the game. cuz' d'antoni looks like the monopoly man."
"i'm afraid i don't..."
"that's cuz' you're wearing the same dress you wore two years ago when these guys had these tickets for another national game. don't get me wrong, you're lookin' good."
"thanks- back to you mike!"

also, note paul rudd's titular character from the movie My Idiot Brother. love that guy. paul rudd, i mean. i have no idea who that other guy is...

 as of today i know why this pick of wilcox is clear. he's got a heart issue and may be done for the season. fucking sad face, what is it with injuries? roll your ankle or something! is there something in the gatorade giving our guys heart conditions? wtfffffffffff...

 these guys are looking our way because a woman in the stands had a seizure of some kind. she ended up being okay, i think. Carlton was a pro.

 these guys are looking two different ways, but look like they could kiss. or bump tummies. watch out when their eyes meet- oh, hello there. bam! fireworks!

 ugh, seriously? he looks like he's just standing there, right? right?!? i especially like this one because nothing is in focus.

 i have to say again how nice it was to see jeff hanging with the team. he's under no obligation whatsoever to associate with the celtics, but here he is anyway. stay classy, jeff. by that i mean, sign with us next year and also don't die, jeff.

 way down the aisle was celebrity chef Ming Tsai. not a ninja of the kitchen. please. ignorant.

the down side of our seats was that often times, during game play, people would just come and stand right in front of us. occasionally they were chicks in tight pants, but only occasionally.


 "i heard you have a new spine- enjoy your two-hundred dollars!"
monster. triple. double.

 aw. yeah.

and on the way home, god showed his appreciation for a hard-fought win over the NYC devils by cracking open the sky into giant smiles of light:

headed west- thanks to the tuber bros for coming, and to teek for the seats! let's go celtics!


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