Tuesday, December 23, 2008

the three days of x-mas: the tree

i like having a christmas tree, but it's my job every year to put on the lights- and it sucks. ask anybody who's had to do it and they'll tell you it's easily the worst tree-related job. from untangling, to bulb checking, to the actual application of the damn things, it is truly a pain in the ass. the end result can be very rewarding, but when you're knee deep in miles of string lights... let's just say that you're not focused on what the end result will be. one of the great benefits of having children is being able to teach them to start the coffee maker or sending them to fetch things from another room, but you can also dump all of the crappy jobs that you no longer want on them. so this year, i had my little elf bebe tackle the lights. heh heh heh...

here ya' go beebs. i've laid out the lights so all you have to do is make sure the bulbs are in tight and untangle the strings. good luck!

so i gotta' get all these lights...

on that tree.

aaaannnnnd i'm all by myself. well, best to just dive in, i suppose.

all the bulbs seem to be working, but i know that if i don't check them all, i'll get them on the tree and then one of them won't work...

i think i got this. it looks a lot harder before you start.

daddy! i think i'm good here. piece of cake!

there are an awful lot of lights...

it's easy to lose track if you don't stay sharp.

gotta' concentrate!

they're really close together. can't they spread them out a little?

oops. this one's out. i'll give it a little drool to get it going again.

aaannndd- we're back! drool is the best conductor of electricity. and i don't even know what electricity is. but i do know drool.

maybe all of these lights should be tasted, um, i mean tested...

still got a long way to go. i feel like i've been at this for hours.

this is a job that takes a lot of patience. i can see why mommy doesn't do this part.

if i could whistle, i'd be whistling right now.

whoa. these lines get tangled so easily!

how did this happen? i have to back up a step.

hmm. maybe i have to back up another step.

alright. i've backed myself into a corner somehow. how are they more tangled now than before?

c'mon! stop winding around! stay straight! arghhhh!!!!

if i could curse, i'd be cursing right now.

"how's it coming in there, bebe?"
yeah, great. just fine. awesome.


it's getting dark outside.

and i'm worse off than when i started.

look at all of these @#!%!# lights! why are there so many lights? why?!?

i'm going to have to chew my way out of this.

although i'm going to need some teeth first.

can i get some teeth down here? hello?


there's no way this pile of lights

is making its way up onto that tree. anytime soon. ever.

i give up.

but in the end, we got the lights worked out...

complete with our traditional devil head at the top. paganism is alive and well in our house...


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