"hello everybody! it's me, bebe! chad randy, personal trainer, couldn't be here this morning, and since i recently had a growth spurt (if you know what i mean), i thought i'd take over for today."
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"i'd like to start with some light stretching. just pull your heels toward your diaper and... you know what, i'm a baby and all of my joints and ligaments are pretty rubbery. this seems like a waste of time, so let's move on."
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"one body part it always pays to stretch is the ol' wheel house! let's get those boilers nice and loose!"
"one of my favorite workouts involves this step stool. now, if you don't have one like this, don't panic. you can use something similar, like a big book, and that will work just as well."
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"but i like this one right here. this one. right here. love it."
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"let's start bent at the waist"
"and we're going to pivot ninety degrees to the left. if you're not sure which way is left, or what 'ninety degrees' is, you can mimic me, or ask your mommies or daddies for help."
"and now let's work our way back to the right. and hold..."
"ha ha. i tooted. there's nothing better than some calisthenics to get everything moving in the right direction! as long as the 'right direction' is out of your bottom, of course."
"whoo. nothing to be embarrassed about. it's just your body doing what comes naturally."
"ok now, we're going to bend at the hips again, and don't forget to keep that tummy tight. that's going to stabilize your lower back as we work through to the next movement. i mean, exercise. you might have another 'movement' between now and then, but let's focus on our form."
"if we take a look at this position from the side, you'll notice my feet are flat on the floor (or as flat on the floor as they can be, since they're actually completely round on the bottom) and my hands are parallel on the top of the stool. i like to dangle a pinky for leverage, but you may choose not to."
"now we're going to squeeze the glutes! and hold... hold..."
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"great! now release, and slowly lower yourself down to your knees."
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"it's very important to let each body part have a little recovery time in between moves. over-worked muscles lead to bad form, and bad form will get you an injury. just ask chad."
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" ok- back on your feet, both hands flat on the stool, bent at the waist..."
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"now bring your right foot forward, put it right alongside the stool, feet flat on the floor..."
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"people often ask me why so much of my routine involves leaning over the stool, and i'll be honest with you- i can't stand up on my own. part two of this workout involves hanging on to the back of that chair over there. i'm just a baby, cut me some slack."
"and we're going to pivot ninety degrees to the left. if you're not sure which way is left, or what 'ninety degrees' is, you can mimic me, or ask your mommies or daddies for help."
"and now let's work our way back to the right. and hold..."
"ha ha. i tooted. there's nothing better than some calisthenics to get everything moving in the right direction! as long as the 'right direction' is out of your bottom, of course."
"whoo. nothing to be embarrassed about. it's just your body doing what comes naturally."
"ok now, we're going to bend at the hips again, and don't forget to keep that tummy tight. that's going to stabilize your lower back as we work through to the next movement. i mean, exercise. you might have another 'movement' between now and then, but let's focus on our form."
"if we take a look at this position from the side, you'll notice my feet are flat on the floor (or as flat on the floor as they can be, since they're actually completely round on the bottom) and my hands are parallel on the top of the stool. i like to dangle a pinky for leverage, but you may choose not to."
"now we're going to squeeze the glutes! and hold... hold..."
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`
`
"great! now release, and slowly lower yourself down to your knees."
`
`
"it's very important to let each body part have a little recovery time in between moves. over-worked muscles lead to bad form, and bad form will get you an injury. just ask chad."
`
" ok- back on your feet, both hands flat on the stool, bent at the waist..."
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"now bring your right foot forward, put it right alongside the stool, feet flat on the floor..."
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"people often ask me why so much of my routine involves leaning over the stool, and i'll be honest with you- i can't stand up on my own. part two of this workout involves hanging on to the back of that chair over there. i'm just a baby, cut me some slack."
"whoa. i need some looser workout clothes. my butt looks gigantic. the problem is that anything loose in the legs ends up tight at the top. it's like a dude designed these clothes. i'd have to wear a garbage bag to be comfortable. and where are the pants for short ladies? luckily i've got long legs, but i really feel for the rest of you out there. if the waist is the right size, the legs all look like bell bottoms. oh, wait. those aren't back in style are they? no? good. so like i was saying... hang on, where were we?"
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"this next move is a good one if you're feeling some tightness in your hammy. and don't forget to pace yourself! if you feel dizzy or light headed, take a breather."
Yay! A baby workout- Benny boy could use this as the only areobic activity he exhibits is during meals.
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