Wednesday, September 3, 2008

waking up (is hard to do) pt 2

ahhhh, another idyllic morning. mother and babe, snoozing on the couch...

mommy's binky. sometimes she shares with bebe.

let's see if we can get a little closer, shall we?

here we see the cub, nestled against her mother's breast. in the wild, babies will often nap close to the watering hole. or spigot, as it were.

she seems truly peaceful and calm while asleep

...but if she were to wake suddenly, make no mistake- those paws are capped with razor-sharp nails that will flail and cut you to ribbons! just look at the strength lying dormant within those mighty mits. marvelous!

run! she's awake!

ha, false alarm. she appears to be in the midst of a dream...

'as night fell upon the plains, the wild beeb (known scientifically as beatrix mariatrixus ) dripped like ink from her cave, low to the ground, up wind, stalking her prey with the precision of a craftsman turbo charged table saw. for those of you that don't know, that's precise.

through the underbrush to the tall grass, which would serve as the perfect cover to her approach of the herd. they moo'ed ignorantly under the light of the moon. 'ha ha,' she thought. 'the killing light... of the killing moon!' she had yet to take a creative writing class. irregardless ( or an english usage and grammar course), she moved betwixt and between the tall blades of grass, watching the animals mill about, uttering almost to herself 'glurballomurf...' (or actually learned to speak english at this point ). but none of that mattered. all that existed was the hunger! the hunger was what drove her, or pushed her in a stroller, baby bjorned her, carried her... etc. it was all she knew, all she could think of. actually, 'having a good poop' popped into her head from time to time as well. but mostly, it was the hunger! soon, so soon, she would feed! launching herself at the underbelly of the nearest cow, four nipples, all to herself!
she could almost taste the sweet bounty on her lips, white gold!

"hiya! who goes there!"

"oh, it's you daddy. you shouldn't sneak up on a sleeping baby."

"and i was having the sweetest dream, too! man, i can almost taste that udder..."

beatrix, that's kinda' gross.

"i know. still pretty cool, though. all four... all for me."

but it was milk from a cow. you can't eat that stuff anyway!

"oh, mr. big-daddy-smarty-pants-grown-up-guy, do you have to ruin it? besides, it was symbolic! haven't you ever taken a creative writing class?"

"and why are you wearing that safari hat? you look like a dork! jeeze..."

and so, the sun sets once more on the wild plains of... jamaica plain. please join us again next time, on Wild Baby Kingdom...

1 comment:

  1. you are just adorable... ya fucking pansy.

    actually, jamaica plain does have a sort of exotic ring to it...